CalJosAnKe

illkim:

"-and that’s that’s my presentation"

image

Calling stores about the new iPhone 6 tomorrow:

  • Me: Hi I was just wondering if you guys' are going to sell the iPhone 6 tomorrow
  • Store: Yes
  • Me: Okay do you know if you'll get a lot or just enough for preorders?
  • Store: We don't know
  • Me: Okay well what time will you open and start selling?
  • Store: Whenever shipment gets here
  • Me: What time will that be?
  • Store: We don't know
cumberbitchen221b:

scampthecorgi:

We have no idea what he’s doing…

drinking water but in a punk rock way
{

cumberbitchen221b:

scampthecorgi:

We have no idea what he’s doing…

drinking water but in a punk rock way

cocaineteas:

YASSS!! Why’d you turn fake on me Rima? I don’t understand :( - I DONT UNDERSTAND!! I DON’T UNDERSTAND BITCH! I DONT UNDERSTAND.

after i fainted

  • nurse: how many fingers?
  • me: 3 with some lube

cramp:

fuck you ellen, trying to play me like that, i trusted you, watch your back, this ain’t over

(Source: ellendegeneres)

bionicwasok:

*ruins christmas* *checks nails*

top-model:

damn, tyra. you might as well just write “i fuckin hate u” on the paper and give her that.
{

top-model:

damn, tyra. you might as well just write “i fuckin hate u” on the paper and give her that.

walt-disney-paris:

THIS IS SO ACCURATE

(Source: tastefullyoffensive)

paprikalipstickcoinpursevaseline:

i hate this bitch lmao {

paprikalipstickcoinpursevaseline:

i hate this bitch lmao

(Source: cokehochanel)

oomshi:

how many boys are going to continue wearing light blue vineyard vine polos with pink polo cargo shorts & sperries when will this madness end

versaceslut:

"nicki and iggy hate each other"

ummmm??? then explain this

image

brbjellyfishing:

american-fuckin-horror-story:

i got out of bed at 11:30 to make this

thank you

fuckreiva:

HAHAHAHAHA FUCKING HELL

(Source: cocaineteas)

jensenacklesmeltsmyheart:

mamebig:

Into the Woods, 2014 (x)

FUCK I AM EXCITED

SO MANY WONDERFUL ACTORS I CANNOT WAIT!!!

(Source: porpetinascamander)